More writings

Good Bad Attitude Tally started April 13, 2012

Good

Nutural

4/14/12 am + pm did job mater of factly

Bad

4/13/12 Morning

4/13/12 Evening/made him sleep elsewhere

5/15/05

Tantrum over my thigh

 11-24-12

Hi,

I figured I’d write to you to let you know what’s going on with me if you cared.

I’m not asking for a response from you. If you didn’t know, I’m also writing because Andrew would feel more at ease. I’m pretty much done with facebook and/or any social sites. If I feel like bitching, I’ll do it elsewhere.

I’m bedridden & haven’t been off my bed (except to take a shower once a week) in months.

My left arm no longer works. I no longer can type (I use Win7’s onscreen keyboard to type when my right hand allows). My signature is a joke (dexterity gone south). My eyesight is horrible (double vision & blurriness). I can’t see what’s on a piece of paper. I can’t see what’s on a computer screen unless I hit ctrl+ repeatedly. I often go “postal” due to constant bladder infections. 2 per month. Yes I take lots of over-the-counter stuff  to prevent that such as cranberry, vit. C and drink tons of water to no avail. I’m tired all the time. My short-term memory is toast i.e. I can’t remember what I’m doing on the computer unless I write it in Notepad & leave it on the screen. I’m pretty frustrated all the time ‘cause I can’t do what I did 3 years ago. I get unbearable physical pain at times with no apparent reason or cause. I'm completely bladder & bowel incontinent. If you are anything like Andrew, you will most likely find satisfaction in the following statement. I too think that putting the “dirty laundry” post on facebook was probably not the best thing to do. Yesterday, I deleted it from facebook. I was pretty pissed off at the time of posting & at my wits end.

 9-1-12

Dear Mr. Yang,

I am writing this response to you because Andrew found that you left a business card somewhere around our front door. I was home and just drifting into a much needed sleep when you rang the doorbell, startling me, and woke me up. I believe this was Thursday, August 29 at 3:35 PM. I do nap twice a day four days a week because I have to wake up at 4:30 AM when my husband gets up – to be awake for cleanup. Sleep is very important with the name because my well-being needs it still being woken up when I'm trying to take a nap is not acceptable. It scared the daylights out of me and caused me not to have any sleep until that evening. Andrew read your business card and said that you are a social worker. Andrew then said on Friday that he had called you and talked to you. I'm sure everything that Andrew said was the truth. Now I understand from your point that you need to see this situation to judge for yourself if neglect is a situation here but I can assure you it is not. I also contacted my doctor's office to have them fax your office and Sutter home health stating that I most certainly do not need such interruption. The Dr. sends out his physician's assistant and she is quite aware of what is going on but is not concerned.

As has been the case with us as long as we've been together which has been 14 years or so no one is allowed to come over here unless they call first. I have two questions for you. 1. When did you get notified that your office needed to come to me at my house?  2. What was said to you that made you think this was a neglect situation? I'd ask who called you reporting me or us but I understand you do not have to tell me that. That's where lawyers come in.  I've been thinking and trying to figure out on my own. The only ones I can think that did that was Sutter home health. No one else has been inside this house and no one else has seen that situation. In no way am I neglected. Andrew takes very good care of me, even better than the home health nurses, and is very responsive to my needs. I am sound of mind enough to know what's going on. So much so that I do our taxes and pay our bills. I handle all the finances for this household. I am frankly miffed that someone would dare report us instead of talking to us first. We have been in contact with the social worker for Sutter home health and she knows exactly what's going on. I also have a written DNR and the last thing is that I want is to be removed from this house. I'd rather be dead. As you can see I'm a very direct person. I don't beat around the bush. I do not appreciate being woken up and scared to death by someone ringing the doorbell or knocking on the door. Even the delivery people know not to do that. Furthermore, why didn't your office call us before hand? Andrew is not home on Wednesday. Speaking of Andrew not being home, he has a full-time 40 hour week job and is gone Wednesday through Saturday. He works in Yuba City and comes home at a drop of the hat in case I need a cleanup. There is no neglect here. Andrew does a great job with what he's having to deal with. I am 39, was diagnosed with MS when I was 31 and have become bedridden in the last year because my physical body could not do what I wanted such as stand up. I have individual MS problems that no one can do anything about. All we can do is maintain. Speaking of no one can do anything about – a year ago I went to Fremont Rideout hospital ER for a severe bladder infection. Someone should report them for letting me sit in my own feces for five hours in the emergency room. I was apparently very sick. Now that's neglect! Spend your time on them not me. There is no neglect here. The reason why I am using the word is because Andrew said that's what you said over the phone. Granted our lives are hard enough without someone making trouble for us and calling the county on this. If you need verification that I am of sound of mind please feel free to call Jennifer, social worker at Sutter home health at 749 – 3450. I called her Friday morning and she told me she didn't know who called you. Whoever did needs to be reprimanded because this is no way to help out. If someone wanted to help us, calling the county is not the way. I like my time alone for four days a week in the house because I can uninterruptedly e-mail surf the Internet and watch TV shows. The reason why we don't have someone here babysitting me is because I don't need it and don't want that. It would drive me nuts. I do have a DNR completed of my wishes. One of those wishes is to be left alone if I so choose. Andrew understands that if I can't talk any more than there's something seriously wrong. I communicate just fine most of the time and other times I'll search for words but that's a part of MS.

Unless you can do something positive while I'm in my house for us as in pay for in-home babysitting we don't need your assistance at all.

I'm wondering if a particular nurse called you out of retaliation because she was trying to catheterize me and put the insertion thing into the wrong hole repeatedly as Andrew watched in horror. Here's an  R.N. who is supposed to know what they're doing and not do certain things but doing it anyway in the wrong way. I told a doctor friend of mine what happened and he said "that will definitely cause a bladder infection".

Yes. I am pissed off because someone contacted the county and caused a problem to be thought of that wasn't even there. Our lives are rough enough. We don't need that. Yes. I would sure like to know who did that. We have rights and lawyers. I ask that you please leave us be. I can understand calling a social worker if a child is being starved or worse or an elderly person is being neglected or a disabled person being left in their own feces. I am not that kind of a case. I know what's been going on with me. My wish is to live and die at home. Sure, Andrew is not medically trained and has never taken care of anyone in his life but he has stepped up beyond what most humans would do. I understand you have a job to do and I request that you release the information to me that was told to you by whatever source. I don't need this type of a hassle and neither does my husband so I request that you leave us alone unless you have millions to give us for free. Drop the money and run and still leave us alone. No one ever comes into this house and no one knows except for my parents and possibly the neighbors about me needing help so that makes me think it was someone in the Sutter home health. I came from Fremont Rideout home health to Sutter in the hopes of better nurses. At this point it just seems like I am getting hassled. We should have stayed with the other home health agency because they didn't see anything to report and never did. We saw there social workers and everyone that they wonder throw at us too.