Seriosly?! So I email the mother-in-law after sitting on it for a month. I even wrote no response needed. Duh! How else do I have to say it. Leave me the fuck alone? I wrote this > Hi, > > I figured I'd write to you to let you know what's going on with me if > you cared. > > I'm not asking for a response from you. If you didn't know, I'm also > writing because Andrew would feel more at ease. I'm pretty much done > with facebook and/or any social sites. If I feel like bitching, I'll do > it elsewhere. > > I'm bedridden & haven't been off my bed (except to take a shower once a > week) in months. > > My left arm no longer works. I no longer can type (I use Win7's onscreen > keyboard to type when my right hand allows). My signature is a joke > (dexterity gone south). My eyesight is horrible (double vision & > blurriness). I can't see what's on a piece of paper. I can't see what's > on a computer screen unless I hit ctrl+ repeatedly. I often go "postal" > due to constant bladder infections. 2 per month. Yes I take lots of > over-the-counter stuffto prevent that such as cranberry, vit. C and > drink tons of water to no avail. I'm tired all the time. My short-term > memory is toast i.e. I can't remember what I'm doing on the computer > unless I write it in Notepad & leave it on the screen. I'm pretty > frustrated all the time 'cause I can't do what I did 3 years ago. I get > unbearable physical pain at times with no apparent reason or cause. I'm > completely bladder & bowel incontinent. If you are anything like Andrew, > you will most likely find satisfaction in the following statement. I too > think that putting the "dirty laundry" post on facebook was probably not > the best thing to do. Yesterday, I deleted it from facebook. I was > pretty pissed off at the time of posting & at my wits end. > Sharon She responds Hi Sharon, Thank you for writing; I was hoping you would. Of course I care what is going on with you. I am sorry about what happened with the Facebook post. I was upset with the picture of Andrew, which was pretty funny until I saw the negative description of what was going on and looked at the picture again. I have since found out from him that he has been crabby and less than thoughtful at times, maybe more than half the time?. Since he is a big part of your world, that effect is magnified. I think he is really, really depressed and I wish he would take something, but he refuses. Aside from the stress he is under, depression's hallmarks are irritability and negativity. Now, from your perspective, I think your stress is probably double what his is, just from your illness and the fact that your world is shrinking, and your future is grim. And you have the physical stress of having to expend a lot of effort to get less and less done, even simple things. Plus having a caregiver who does love you, but it's not always evident. Actions speak louder than words, so if he seems not to be caring at any given time, he isn't. What was that line from Love Story? "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Never is a little extreme, we all make mistakes, but it shouldn't be an everyday thing. I was dismayed when he admitted that to me. I wish there was something I could do to help. Actually, he probably told you I've offered to give him an advance on his probable inheritance at a rate of up to $13,000/year which could cover either house payments or an aide. The hard part of the latter is finding someone reliable and strong. I saw his advertisement on Facebook, but I don't think the exposure is to the right people. All his friends see it, but they already know the situation. The incentive of room and board alone is probably not enough, but maybe that $13,000 could pay a small salary along with room and board, $1,000/month. If you think about it, who besides a homeless person would go for just room and board? And my first choice wouldn't be a homeless person. I know you'd prefer to be at home, but a nursing home is not a bad option, either, and you'd have better care and some social exposure. I was upset with the post, but that is in the past, and I had already decided not to hold a grudge (one of my favorite activities) even before your email, based on emails from Andrew and just general guilt because I know I shouldn't do it. I was hurt when you unfriended me, even though I understood it. And I am continually anguished over your health situation, which continues to decline. Reading over your email, re typing, you could get Dragon and just speak into the microphone. Apparently, recent versions are very good at not making too many (often funny) mistakes. I hope you keep in touch with me via emails and maybe video chats on Google+. And I hope to see you next summer when we come to California. Love, E

So I email the mother-in-law after sitting on it for a month. I even wrote no response needed. Duh! How else do I have to say it. Leave me the fuck alone? I wrote this > Hi, > > I figured I'd write to you to let you know what's going on with me if > you cared. > > I'm not asking for a response from you. If you didn't know, I'm also > writing because Andrew would feel more at ease. I'm pretty much done > with facebook and/or any social sites. If I feel like bitching, I'll do > it elsewhere. > > I'm bedridden & haven't been off my bed (except to take a shower once a > week) in months. > > My left arm no longer works. I no longer can type (I use Win7's onscreen > keyboard to type when my right hand allows). My signature is a joke > (dexterity gone south). My eyesight is horrible (double vision & > blurriness). I can't see what's on a piece of paper. I can't see what's > on a computer screen unless I hit ctrl+ repeatedly. I often go "postal" > due to constant bladder infections. 2 per month. Yes I take lots of > over-the-counter stuffto prevent that such as cranberry, vit. C and > drink tons of water to no avail. I'm tired all the time. My short-term > memory is toast i.e. I can't remember what I'm doing on the computer > unless I write it in Notepad & leave it on the screen. I'm pretty > frustrated all the time 'cause I can't do what I did 3 years ago. I get > unbearable physical pain at times with no apparent reason or cause. I'm > completely bladder & bowel incontinent. If you are anything like Andrew, > you will most likely find satisfaction in the following statement. I too > think that putting the "dirty laundry" post on facebook was probably not > the best thing to do. Yesterday, I deleted it from facebook. I was > pretty pissed off at the time of posting & at my wits end. > Sharon She responds Hi Sharon, Thank you for writing; I was hoping you would. Of course I care what is going on with you. I am sorry about what happened with the Facebook post. I was upset with the picture of Andrew, which was pretty funny until I saw the negative description of what was going on and looked at the picture again. I have since found out from him that he has been crabby and less than thoughtful at times, maybe more than half the time?. Since he is a big part of your world, that effect is magnified. I think he is really, really depressed and I wish he would take something, but he refuses. Aside from the stress he is under, depression's hallmarks are irritability and negativity. Now, from your perspective, I think your stress is probably double what his is, just from your illness and the fact that your world is shrinking, and your future is grim. And you have the physical stress of having to expend a lot of effort to get less and less done, even simple things. Plus having a caregiver who does love you, but it's not always evident. Actions speak louder than words, so if he seems not to be caring at any given time, he isn't. What was that line from Love Story? "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Never is a little extreme, we all make mistakes, but it shouldn't be an everyday thing. I was dismayed when he admitted that to me. I wish there was something I could do to help. Actually, he probably told you I've offered to give him an advance on his probable inheritance at a rate of up to $13,000/year which could cover either house payments or an aide. The hard part of the latter is finding someone reliable and strong. I saw his advertisement on Facebook, but I don't think the exposure is to the right people. All his friends see it, but they already know the situation. The incentive of room and board alone is probably not enough, but maybe that $13,000 could pay a small salary along with room and board, $1,000/month. If you think about it, who besides a homeless person would go for just room and board? And my first choice wouldn't be a homeless person. I know you'd prefer to be at home, but a nursing home is not a bad option, either, and you'd have better care and some social exposure. I was upset with the post, but that is in the past, and I had already decided not to hold a grudge (one of my favorite activities) even before your email, based on emails from Andrew and just general guilt because I know I shouldn't do it. I was hurt when you unfriended me, even though I understood it. And I am continually anguished over your health situation, which continues to decline. Reading over your email, re typing, you could get Dragon and just speak into the microphone. Apparently, recent versions are very good at not making too many (often funny) mistakes. I hope you keep in touch with me via emails and maybe video chats on Google+. And I hope to see you next summer when we come to California. Love, E